What is the quality of your Conversational Intelligence?

What is the quality of your Conversational Intelligence?

Hi there, Sandra here from New Beginnings.

I have something I wanted to share with you and hope its okay to take a few minutes of your time to read this post?

After assisting many companies with Leadership and People Development for over 16 years, I am still surprised at how few Leaders I come across that can actually ‘Lead’ others effectively and I am wondering , if you feel the same? How many people do you know in your organisation that you can honestly say, are ‘Great Leaders’?

I have met many great ‘Managers’ who are experts in managing systems, products, procedures, profits and even people. They may be great Managers but it does not mean they are great Leaders. One thing I have found in my experience of working with Businesses in Mauritius for the last 7 years, is that many Managers in Mauritius today, see key ‘Leadership’ roles as purely an ‘HR’ function. They expect HR to ‘fix’ the people issues!. Is this common in your company?

Whenever I begin a new contract with a new client I interview HR Managers, Senior Managers and Employees, to get a more accurate sense of what’s happening in that company. In NLP there is a common saying, “The Map is not the Territory” . This means that very often your own reality is based on how you see things (your Map). But we forget that our Map is not actually ‘the’ reality. It is simply just a version of the ‘Territory’. Beyond your map, lies many other maps, with their versions of reality. The ’territory’ therefore consists of details of all the maps!

Just like if you are reading a map to a specific destination, whats on the map is how you would expect the territory to be, right? Well in truth, the map is only the reality of the person who drew it. We all have our own map of the world, how we see things and how we expect others to see it. But the MAP is NOT the territory. The territory keeps changing. If the territory has changed but you still believe the map you are holding is correct, there will be many people who simply will not understand you. If they have seen things that you have not, they will believe that your map is not right, then they will walk away thinking you are wrong and they are right. So you do the same!

I often hear these similar problems from Managers:

  • The people are not engaged in their jobs.
  • The new generation do not work as hard as we did.
  • They are disinterested in work, they just come to do the minimum at leave as soon as they can.
  • They don’t understand the importance of their job.
  • They don’t see the bigger picture.
  • They don’t use their initiative, only follow orders.
  • Team Leaders do not inspire their people.
  • Managers are autocratic and don’t have people skills.
  • They don’t show passion at work.

Employees on the other hand say:

  • My boss never sees the good only the bad.
  • He never shares important things with us.
  • He doesn’t really know what is going on, on the floor.
  • He tells us what we do wrong and thinks he is teaching us.
  • Says he has an open door policy but when we go with ideas he turns us down, so why bother?
  • If we speak up they don’t like it, so its not worth the energy to speak up, now I just do my job.
  • I never get recognition.
  • Its either his way or no way.
  • They tell us what to do but not always ‘why’ we must do it.

These are two very different maps, both of which are right! It takes a Great Leader to truly take time to understand the different maps, ask the right questions and build enough trust to form strong working relationships. Asking questions that open minds and not shut them down! Hold conversations that facilitates others to explore solutions and not ‘telling’ others what to do. Resistance, first and foremost, indicates a lack of rapport!

These are the skills we as Coaches learn. How to listen in a way that shows we are listening to understand and not just pausing to search for the right answer. To ask questions that empower and inspire others to find solutions. To inspire meaning for their tasks, to share and discover ideas together. But this kind of leadership requires a very different kind of thinking! One that is free from insecurities and limiting beliefs. A thinking that includes high levels of ‘Conversational’ Intelligence.

What is the level of Conversational Intelligence of the Leaders in your organisation?

There are three levels of Conversation: (Judith Glaser)

Level 1: Tell, Sell, Yell.

This is the main level of Managerial Conversations which I have found in Mauritius. I will ‘Tell’ you what to do, if you don’t do it, I will try to ‘sell’ you my reason why you should do it and if you still don’t do it then I will shout until you do!!

Level 2: Asking Questions

This is the next step. Moving away from ‘Tell, Sell Yell!” to asking questions. However, the problem with this level, which I have seen, is that Managers very often ask questions to which they already know the answers, e.g. “Have you finished that report?”. This type of questions will encourage people become defensive.

Level 3: Share and Discover

This is the most resourceful level of conversations which can lead to transformational results. This is when you ask questions that you don’t know, you don’t know. This is what we call a coaching conversation

Managers who lead with a Coaching Mindset are able to have high levels of Conversational Intelligence. Imagine a workforce who has a high level of conversational Intelligence??

It can happen if you embrace ‘Coaching’ as a Leadership style in your organisation!

This is where we can help you….

If this interests you, then come join us for three days of discovering how communication skills can change your life! If you have Managers and Service Agents who work with you, then these skills are highly recommended to improve Interpersonal Skills and Leadership skills.

This will be your last chance to register for the 6th and final batch of Module 1: Coaching Essentials – The Psychology behind Human Communication.

The course content is as follows:

DAY 1:

  • Introduce the basic NLP Communication Model and the Meta-Programs Model.
  • Discover how communication goes through the human perceptual filters.
  • Identify the basic meta-programs needed to effectively learn and use the NLP Model.
  • Discover the languages of the mind— the Representational Systems.
  • Discover how to read and detect the sensory systems.
  • Begin to develop the art of active listening for the structure of a person’s experience.
  • Discover the process for calibrating to another person’s experience.
  • Learn the editorial level of representing — the cinematic features of the mind
  • Discover the magical art of gaining rapport through pacing.

DAY 2:

  • States Inducing and Experiencing
  • Introduce and become acquainted with states.
  • Discover how we communicate from state to state and what that means.
  • Begin exploring the fundamental State Management Skills.
  • Learn about State Elicitation and Anchoring Skills.
  • Learn and practice the Circle (Sphere) of Excellence Pattern.
  • Play with the pattern of Perceptual Positions to expand personal flexibility.
  • Identify the meta-programs that govern all of these patterns and processes.

DAY 3:

The Linguistics of NLP & Meta Programs

  • Precision Questioning
  • Discover the magic in the structure of language, the Meta-Model
  • Discover and learn the Well-Formed Outcome Pattern
  • Identify the four categories of meta-programs
  • Identify the meta-programs that govern all of these patterns and processes
  • Learn and practice the Expanding Meta-Programs Patterns

Date: 20-23 April 2016

Venue: Hennessy Park Hotel

Cost: Rs38,500

MQA Approved

Connecting with others, through Communication Excellence.

Managers and Leaders who would like to learn NLP skills and techniques of Neuro-Semantics and the Meta-Coach ™ Training system, should not miss this training. It is Internationally recognised and certified.

Hope to hear from you if you have any other questions. 

Please Click here for more info